The Willie Wagtail and the Lazy Fisherman.

In Barmah we have many birds of which the Willie Wagtail, is one of the best known.  This happy little bird is found all over Australia and because of this reason alone, almost everyone recognizes him.

 Most of his body, apart from the eyebrow and the tummy, is black.  Not just an ordinary black but a shiny black.  When the sun shines on him he is extra shiny and black.  The tummy is white and the eyebrow is white.  I think the tummy is white so he can tell which way up he is supposed to be.  Like a helicopter this little bird does all sorts of tricks when flying, like low level flying and loop the loop.  Cats and Dogs often chase their tails and likewise, or at least it seems that way, so does the Willie Wagtail.  

Willie mostly lives on insects that he catches in the air.  This is why he can fly such  aerobatics.  Often when a hard working person is mowing a lawn, Willie turns up.  Over the years he has learnt that many insects take flight from the blades on the lawn mower.   So Willie will follow the lawn mowing, happily catching what ever insects and bugs try to escape the whirling blades.  The only thing Willie never seems to do is stay still for a second.  He always has his tail moving and that is why somebody many years ago gave him his common name, Willie Wagtail.

Besides being such a clever bird with his flying antics, Willie has another skill. He can when he's not chasing insects, sing a better song than a thrush.  From the top of tree a wonderful melody of notes wafts down giving those who take the time to listen a treat.  Apart from owls Willie is one of the few birds that sing at night.  On a still night You can hear Willie joining in the chorus with the crickets and frogs.  Willie is the star performer of course and the crickets and frogs only make the backup singers.

Grandfathers and many other people love to try and catch fish.  On the Murray River there are many fish to be caught and because the weather is mostly warm and sunny, fishing is a very popular activity.  Many of the folk who come to the river fishing return home very tired, with sore necks, sore heads and sore tongues.

Sore tongues are caused by the number of words that it takes to describe the number and the size of the fish caught.   Fishermen are very good at stretching the truth, so if by bad luck the fisherman catches less than one fish, the number of fish that got away become enormous, and each one of these has to be described in detail.  Any look of disbelief on the listeners face and the number and size, that escaped, is automatically doubled.

Sore heads (hangovers) are caused indirectly by the perfect weather.  It should be pointed out that this Writer has never had a sore head yet from fishing.  The perfect weather means hot, sunny, dry days and the majority of fishermen drink beer.  Because it stays hot, dry and sunny these seekers of fish drink more than they fish.  Now drinking effects different people in different ways but fishermen who drink also end up exaggerating the truth and consequently most fishermen who drink, not only end up with sore heads but sore tongues as well.

Sore necks come in two varieties.  The fishermen who drink and usually end up with the sore tongues as well, also end up with what is known as Guzzlers Neck.  This is caused by lifting the head up very high and pouring the beer down the open mouth.  The amber fluid has to be guzzled quickly or the beer will spill and that to the beer drinking fishermen is a far worse crime than not catching any fish.

Variety two of the sore neck syndrome normally only effects fishermen who have not yet learnt to be lazy.  A fisherman who suffers from the sore tongue, sore head and the Guzzlers Neck and also suffers from variety two of the sore neck is highly likely to end up in a hospital and or a divorce court.  Variety two of the sore neck, is caused by having at least two fishing rods in the water at one time and sitting between them.  Two keep an eye on the tips of the two rods at once, except for the lazy fisherman, means moving the head from side to side constantly so as to watch the tips of the rods for bites.  This variety of sore neck is known as, rod watchers syndrome.

Very tired after a weekend of fishing is again something most fishermen are, if the are not lazy fishermen and the reason for this is all the stress caused by sore necks, tongues and heads.

Many many times I have ended up very tired after a weekend of fishing on the Murray River.  Now the Murray River like most Australian rivers is brown.  Apart from that is a wonderful place to visit, with its beautiful big River Red Gum trees, the rich variety of birds and animal life.  To sit on the bank watching fishing rods all day, meant that you couldn't relax and enjoy the river for the sake of the river.  I found an answer and in effect became a lazy fisherman.  By tying bells on the ends of the fishing rods and securing the rods to the bank I no longer had to watch them.  Lazy fishing it might be but it was relaxing and when the fish bite the bell rings.  I thought I would try and buy different toned bells and if I could get lots of fish to bite at the same time, they might play me some music.

A prominent prime minister of Australia once was quoted as saying, "Life was not meant to be easy", and consequently lost the next election. You would think that being a lazy fisherman was the perfect answer to fishing on the Murray River but that past prime minister was right.  Our mischievous Willie Wagtail likes to imitate the melodic ring of the little silver bells on the ends on the fishing rods.  So the lazy fisherman sometimes does become a little tired after a weekend of bird watching!