BUNYIP BUSTERS in BARMAH

Banging and Crashing have been heard in the roof of the Barmah Hall for many years now. Over the last years the crescendo has worsened to the degree that even stray dogs were avoiding close proximity to the building.

Whispers in the town in the form of rumours, intimate that when in the 1990’s the Hall walls were lined on the inside and a ceiling installed, one of Barmah’s Bunyips was trapped in the roof. The noise emanating from the roof apparently was the Creature trying to free its self. Inspections of the roof had not been able to find leaks so the water damage to the ceiling had been put down to the Bunyip’s tears.

The Hall Committee was charged with rectifying the situation and consultation was held with the Moira Shire, clandestinely. Barmah’s Hall committee being conservative and green on this issue, wanted to ensure that this endangered Creature, would have a suitable habitat to live in after it was removed.

A plan was hatched and Bunyip Busters were deployed. So the residents of Barmah would not be alarmed the Busters cleverly disguised themselves as Plumbers and some of the locals did observe these fearless practitioners on the roof appraising the situation. Their solution to the dilemma was to first create a new habitat for the Bunyip. Simply dig a trench in front of the Hall. Lay long lengths of concrete pipe and cover over with gravel except for the ends. This would look like a car park for practical purposes, but in reality create a dark dank damp place with two exits for the Bunyip. The final step in the proposed plan would be to take the whole roof off the hall for at least one night to allow the Bunyip to make good his departure and locate its new home.

It happened folks. The project was a little more expensive than anticipated due to the damage to the iron of the roof. Almost all of the iron had been knocked out of shape by the Bunyip and salty tears had caused much rusting.

Now the Kindy Kids don’t glance up at the ceiling of the hall any more. The Hall neighbours are reportably sleeping more peacefully and even the odd stray dog is seen around the hall again.

Now off the record of course, the Kindergarten, Children’s Singing Group, Hall Neighbours, Hall committee and the odd stray dog would like to thank the Moira Shire profusiously for having overseen the removal of that Critter from the roof.

Knowing of course that our Moira Shire would never publicly acknowledge such a project the above groups would like to put on record, a very big thanks to the Shire, for the new roof and car park. It will benefit the whole community and extend the life of the hall.

Now there has never been a law-abiding citizen taken by a Bunyip in Barmah. Therefore should you be walking by the hall and hear noises coming from under the car park there is nothing to fear. For this reason it’s unlikely you will again see Bunyip Busters in Barmah.