The Bardie Grub and Neville

Neville, now is around forty odd years of age and wearing well.  If ever there is the atypical outback Australian, Neville would foot the bill perfectly.  Neville a farmer from the Barmah area speaks with the Aussie drawl and speaks slow.  Put him in a tinny (boat) sucking on a tinny (beer) with his mates and a fishing rod and he is in his element. 

Being a keen fisherman and being rural, the ultimate fish that Neville and his mates try to catch is that elusive, rarely seen Murray Cod.  To a fisherman bait is every thing and Neville will vouch for that.  The only bait to catch a Murray Cod on, is the Bardie Grub (Neville's Law).  You can buy these grubs for an arm and leg each, or you can dig for them, yourself.  No fisherman including Neville will show you where to dig or how but that's another story.  Neville not only knows where to dig and how to dig but he also is able to keep the many grubs he finds, alive for up to a year.  He won't even divulge this art either except to say, each grub has to be kept in its own tobacco tin rapped in a specific type of paper (a secret) and these tins kept in a refrigerator at a specific temperature (another secret). 

If you ever come across a tinny (boat) with some guys fishing in it, sucking on tinnies (beers), on the Murray River, and the boat has a numerous number of tobacco tins in it, don't jump to the conclusion that those guys are heavy smokers. Try saying, "Gday Neville". It's probably him!   

If you are a stranger to Neville, Neville likes to play jokes, so if you ask about the tobacco tins every where, Neville will be only to pleased to open one and show you a Bardie grub.  If you are aware of what the common grass grub looks like, try to imagine a bigger version, say ten times bigger and you have your Bardie grub.  It is a creamy colored grub going on to a sickly yellow, about as thick as a finger and around the same length.  At one end there is a brown head with small nippers that it uses to dig and devour its food.  The texture of its body would not be unlike a worm.  I have never wanted to be close enough to one, to see if it has a smell. The look of them puts one off from getting that close. 

After Neville has displayed one of his prize exhibits to you and actually offered to put it in your hand, he will tell you how good they are to eat and offer you one.  It is rumoured the Aboriginals used to eat them before supermarkets came to Australia, but if you are like most people you will decline the offer in nonnegotiable terms.  Neville will look at you in aghast and pop this grub in his mouth and then close his mouth. 

Now I can't tell you if Neville has one of these creatures trained to do nothing, or whether he just takes the risk, but after your face has registered dismay, shock or just a nauseous expression, Neville will spit the grub back in his hand and then tell you the story when he was forced to eat one of these little beasts and not just pretend. 

It happens that Neville was a local legend in his district, as a football player.  The truth of course anyone that made the team was a legend, but typical of a small town all the young kids used to hero worship these local players.  At a club barbecue, that all the fans were invited to was Neville ruling supreme after a successful season.  One young fellow comes up to Neville and shows him a bucket of Bardie grubs he dug that afternoon, for fishing.  Now Neville can't let an opportunity like this slip by without at least trying a little practical joke on an unsuspecting fan, so he tells this gullible young fellow that an aboriginal had taught him how to cook the delectable grubs and what great bush tucker they were.  "Throw them on the hot plate for twenty seconds, flip them over and then after another twenty seconds start eating them before they stop wriggling and get cold"! 

The young fellow goes away and Neville chuckles and has another cold one with his team mates.  One half hour slips by and the young fellow comes rushing back to Neville with a plate.  On the plate were half a dozen of these grubs cooked absolutely perfectly to Neville's instructions. The happy young fellow tells Neville, that they all agreed with Neville that they were great bush tucker and they saved the last few for him.  Neville will admit that he did eat one to save face and it was rumoured on that particular evening Neville was seen to be throwing up in the toilets and looking very seedy five minutes later.